Karla called this morning and told me exactly what was expected. The list came out too soon and we did not receive a referral this time. I wish I could say I handled it like a dignified strong young woman but I can't. I stepped out of the office, sat in my car, and cried. I discussed it over with Karla and then made the call to Jeremy.
I was completely at peace last night. Prepared for whatever outcome. We know Grace is there waiting and we know we will travel to pick her up. We just don't know when. It's all the uncertainties and unknowns that break me.
Jeremy and I have gone through so many ups and downs since 2008 when we decided to extend our family. By all means I do not compare our situation to anyone else because everyone goes through terrible times. I have to constantly reel myself and my emotions back in and realize the whole picture. For me, I have grown and matured into a much stronger person. I also realize that I have to take moments to cry. If I don't...the tears don't go away, they only haunt you at a later time. Patience. That is a word that I really thought defined me. I learn day by day, minute by minute that this is an ongoing process that I am still learning.
The texts, emails, calls, and messages have meant millions to me. I was told to get my prayer chain going and I learned quickly how many people pray. That is amazing!
Hopefully we can meet Grace's precious face sometime next month. In the meantime, pray that baby home! Continue to pray for the other orphan angels that need a mommy and daddy.
Much love,
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Our family is following your journey and will continue to pray. Hang in there. God's timing is perfect.
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