Prayers

I spoke with Karla (our case worker) today. She informed me that today is the day...the shared list was released in China. This list is sent to agencies at the end of every month. When the agencies receive them, they "lock" files that they feel will make good referrals for their families. The families receive the information on the referred child and must make a decision within 72 hours. This is an exciting, stressful, and very emotional time.

However my conversation with Karla didn't go as planned. She said that there was a very big chance that we will not receive a referral at all this month. This list came out only 3 weeks after the last list was released and the chances of a young child that fits us will be minimal. If we do receive a referral she said to be prepared that she might not be the right match for us.

This has been a very heartbreaking afternoon.

I quickly flashbacked to my days when we were receiving fertility treatments. After each procedure I had such hope and my anticipation was high, much like the past few weeks. Then I received the phone call saying it was yet again unsuccessful. I dread the call tomorrow. I do not want to assume it will be a "no" but when Karla told me to go to work as normal, my thoughts are almost certain.

What next? If we do not receive a referral, normally we would wait until the end of next month. On the bright side (Karla said this is the optimistic part) Maoming orphanage will be releasing their list of angels in early to mid April. We will be eligible to match with one of those children. This particular orphanage does not release their list very often. The last list was on July of 2011.

I am asking for prayers, much needed! We need prayers to get through a restless night ahead of us, a very agonizing day if I have to hear those words, any and all decisions we will have to make, and comfort for us and sweet baby Grace.

Much love,


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