We went to Civil Affairs Office at 9 this morning. We were busy with paperwork and completed just in time for our new friends, Kyle & Eliza, to receive their sweet daughter. About 15 min later in came 2 babies. The second baby was our Natalee Grace. She screamed and screamed!
Her caregiver handed her over immediately and talked with her. Natalee screamed and cried the entire time she was in my arms. During that time, Jeremy was busy filling out paperwork. As soon as it was my turn I handed her to Jeremy. She went silent. She is a daddy's girl!
All day she has been more content in his arms. She gets easily frustrated with me and reaches for him. She doesn't mind sitting with me at all but if there's a choice...it's him. That is really an answer to my prayers! I wanted her to bond with both of us but especially him since so many have trouble bonding to daddys.
Now for the hard part. She cried all day. I'm not saying an hr here and there. I'm saying all day! She is so sad and desperately wants us to make it better. She looks up and the tears just fall. It kills me. I questioned today if I would be strong enough for her. I know it's just the lack of sleep and stress talking but it's just so hard. I need prayers for God to give me strength to provide for her. She needs something so big and there is only ONE that can give me what I need to provide her that. It hurts me to see her hurt.
She literally panics if we lay her in the crib. She finally allowed us to let her sit on the bed next to us. She napped on top of me today and right now she is cuddling sound asleep with Baba (daddy) in our bed.
Thanks to Matt Redman "10,000 Reasons" song (which happens to be my fav too!) I was able to stop her crying episode this evening. We fed her and put her to bed with only one short cry when Baba left the room to change. She loves music and happens to enjoy my iPod choices so we will hope it continues to calm her.
Tomorrow is going to be so hard. We start the day early for passport paperwork for her. Then we will drive 2 hrs to visit her orphanage. I'm not sure that's it's a good idea because she's still grieving so hard so please pray about it. I will talk to Savor and get her opinion and we will go from there.
I don't have pics other than this on my phone and I don't have access to the others tonight. I will upload more throughout the week. I will leave you with this...
My two favorites! (Sorry it's blurry it was dark)
Much love,
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Hang in there! It is a hard time but it will get easier. Focus only on the moment you are in and try not to worry about what the next day, night, or week will bring. You can do this! Please feel free to text, call or email if you need to. Anytime!!! Praying for you all. Lots of love from a China survivor;-)
ReplyDeleteI know it is SO hard, but God is enough to meet all your needs and hers....the more time that passes, the better it will be! We are praying for yall!!!!! You are experiencing the most wonderful miracle...the miracle of seeing a child change in because of God's love through you. Hard part is you are on day 1 and that's the tough stuff. One day you will look back in amazement as you have had the privilege to watch her transform into the beautiful child she is. Hugs! We are cheering you on!
ReplyDeletePlease know we're praying for you! It's hard now, but with each passing day it will get better:) God knows just what you need...His grace is enough! He will help you through:) Meia
ReplyDeleteGod did not lead you THIS far to abandon you now. He hears her cries and yours. And He cares. One day you will look back even on these days with fond memories. I pray you get all the rest you need and that God multiplies your rest and your patience throughout this time. Will also pray for peace for your precious new one!!! "O Lord, because You are my help. I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You. Your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:7-8
ReplyDeleteThere isn't a day goes by that I'm not wanting you back here already . For you are strong enough to do anything you wish and you and Jeremy are strong people . God is with you through this all he will lead you in the ways you need to go . I love you so much and can't wait to meet my cousin/niece :) she beautiful just like her mommy . I love you Sarah !!! Be strong and know that The Lord is with you !! My prayer for you today is , that you will continue to be strong for natalee and Jeremy :) I know your are so strong and you are the best mommy already . I pray that God will give you the strength and courage you need for this new journey . In his precious and holy name AMEN !! I love you so much and ready for your return home !
ReplyDeleteMeg <3